a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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