just come out here and I will go home with you...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
