Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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