I wannas sexs uuuuu
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
