Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?

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  (901): After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background? http://tfl.nu/ijcb
  Replies (63) Good night (2708) Bad night (3472)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  her nipple to breast ratio was just odd

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  (386): her nipple to breast ratio was just odd http://tfl.nu/o8uo
  Replies (20) Good night (866) Bad night (3435)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji

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  (508): this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji http://tfl.nu/f9w1
  Replies (9) Good night (1224) Bad night (2250)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."

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  (508): She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth." http://tfl.nu/jx23
  Replies (5) Good night (2880) Bad night (865)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!

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  (303): Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties! http://tfl.nu/mly2
  Replies (12) Good night (845) Bad night (4675)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.

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  (954): You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone. http://tfl.nu/c0ys
  Replies (33) Good night (3977) Bad night (682)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair

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  (563): even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair http://tfl.nu/e78g
  Replies (82) Good night (4321) Bad night (993)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.

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  (402): my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk. http://tfl.nu/e85f
  Replies (12) Good night (4645) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.

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  (419): You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out. http://tfl.nu/n9rj
  Replies (17) Good night (6075) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.

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  (931): He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man. http://tfl.nu/ct9i
  Replies (31) Good night (6946) Bad night (996)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.

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  (765): I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in. http://tfl.nu/2iri
  Replies (9) Good night (2411) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.

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  (814): He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me. http://tfl.nu/md2z
  Replies (2) Good night (1306) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places

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  (530): Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places http://tfl.nu/jh7z
  Replies (4) Good night (495) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.

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  (216): I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week. http://tfl.nu/slhb
  Replies (3) Good night (258) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.

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  (416): Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing. http://tfl.nu/0abd
  Replies (6) Good night (817) Bad night (291)

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