Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm

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  (313): sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm http://tfl.nu/q0uy
  Replies (10) Good night (2243) Bad night (3074)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!

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  (503): You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit! http://tfl.nu/d8vz
  Replies (9) Good night (633) Bad night (3239)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  did you hook up at the wedding?

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.

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  (540): did you hook up at the wedding? (1-540): No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth. http://tfl.nu/7cxn
  Replies (30) Good night (1460) Bad night (3666)
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  (707): View more from California

  why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?

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  (707): why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas? http://tfl.nu/mq53
  Replies (15) Good night (6228) Bad night (1219)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.

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  (301): they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with. http://tfl.nu/84m6
  Replies (23) Good night (6438) Bad night (1770)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.

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  (203): Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot. http://tfl.nu/4t9j
  Replies (2) Good night (2010) Bad night (1063)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week

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  (732): hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week http://tfl.nu/ig19
  Replies (9) Good night (3025) Bad night (882)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.

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  (217): I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it. http://tfl.nu/a4xo
  Replies (10) Good night (994) Bad night (1820)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.

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  (601): She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs. http://tfl.nu/rhuf
  Replies (9) Good night (3676) Bad night (727)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt

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  (732): Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt http://tfl.nu/9gi1
  Replies (22) Good night (3120) Bad night (745)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."

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  (815): Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys." http://tfl.nu/ykbn
  Replies (18) Good night (541) Bad night (3016)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.

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  (503): There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing. http://tfl.nu/yajw
  Replies (5) Good night (1038) Bad night (408)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.

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  (253): He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child. http://tfl.nu/jtoq
  Replies (3) Good night (390) Bad night (1039)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.

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  (908): Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila. http://tfl.nu/habz
  Replies (3) Good night (573) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing

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  (518): The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing http://tfl.nu/1ex1
  Replies (3) Good night (715) Bad night (248)

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