Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.

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  (716): I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me. http://tfl.nu/61es
  Replies (98) Good night (32890) Bad night (1536)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!

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  (214): New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma! http://tfl.nu/1dky
  Replies (67) Good night (1323) Bad night (4354)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.

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  (919): It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk. http://tfl.nu/1top
  Replies (18) Good night (5421) Bad night (1046)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  well he's currently spooning the coffee table

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  (409): well he's currently spooning the coffee table http://tfl.nu/7khb
  Replies (6) Good night (4261) Bad night (1425)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?

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  (443): I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch? http://tfl.nu/v0c3
  Replies (17) Good night (4593) Bad night (965)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital

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  (403): The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital http://tfl.nu/iqkh
  Replies (4) Good night (3214) Bad night (1627)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.

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  (703): I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia. http://tfl.nu/9rne
  Replies (8) Good night (1973) Bad night (1209)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him

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  (314): it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him http://tfl.nu/nis3
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (1156)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?

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  (217): I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right? http://tfl.nu/k5yu
  Replies (11) Good night (709) Bad night (1055)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5

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  (+44): i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5 http://tfl.nu/ljio
  Replies (14) Good night (2976) Bad night (858)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI

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  (864): If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI http://tfl.nu/re47
  Replies (1) Good night (878) Bad night (531)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.

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  (719): I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster. http://tfl.nu/ckt2
  Replies (8) Good night (1885) Bad night (673)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.

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  (778): Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town. http://tfl.nu/ynab
  Replies (4) Good night (955) Bad night (532)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella

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  (901): The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella http://tfl.nu/24ug
  Replies (4) Good night (1256) Bad night (582)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.

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  (931): I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning. http://tfl.nu/we1f
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (109)

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