Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.

  (661): View more from California

  Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.

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  (480): I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED. (661): Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand. http://tfl.nu/omij
  Replies (16) Good night (3604) Bad night (625)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"

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  (503): I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina" http://tfl.nu/3nun
  Replies (40) Good night (785) Bad night (4947)
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  (650): View more from California

  I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.

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  (650): I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world. http://tfl.nu/egr4
  Replies (31) Good night (6193) Bad night (2059)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time

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  (770): Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time http://tfl.nu/rffr
  Replies (21) Good night (5796) Bad night (1263)
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  (310): View more from California

  and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity

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  (310): and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity http://tfl.nu/4zrt
  Replies (44) Good night (15512) Bad night (1246)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know where my bra went.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.

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  (303): I don't know where my bra went. (1-303): Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy. http://tfl.nu/03yq
  Replies (22) Good night (7942) Bad night (1051)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick

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  (727): the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick http://tfl.nu/3g66
  Replies (10) Good night (6034) Bad night (1409)
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  (619): View more from California

  surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.

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  (619): surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk. http://tfl.nu/u5eo
  Replies (4) Good night (1213) Bad night (3344)
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  (650): View more from California

  I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.

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  (650): I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina. http://tfl.nu/1mmo
  Replies (7) Good night (1559) Bad night (692)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Our room will be decorated with my urine.

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  (434): Our room will be decorated with my urine. http://tfl.nu/12hg
  Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (1784)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"

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  (937): She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!" http://tfl.nu/x0ik
  Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (403)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea

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  (920): He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea http://tfl.nu/pad4
  Replies (2) Good night (329) Bad night (628)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.

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  (780): So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks. http://tfl.nu/pwvq
  Replies (5) Good night (1617) Bad night (301)
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  (858): View more from California

  Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?

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  (858): Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we? http://tfl.nu/fuxn
  Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave

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  (304): I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave http://tfl.nu/i4i9
  Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (236)

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