plz talk dirty to me
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?