Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy

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(201): View more from New Jersey

you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin

(914): View more from New York

and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston

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(292): View more from

i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.

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(404): View more from Georgia

i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay

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These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Read it at the TFLN blog
(305): View more from Florida

He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.

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(936): View more from Texas

You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home

(254): View more from Texas

Challenge accepted.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car

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(815): View more from Illinois

I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Did I see you at the bar last night?

(317): View more from Indiana

Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...

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