Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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