I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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