Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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