they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
