hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
