Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize