Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
