no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize