So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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