I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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