And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If I die, sorry about rent.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
