I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
