I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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