It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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