Your tits are I can't wait for
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You can't just leave with hair like that
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Randomize
