Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
