How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
