I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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