I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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