The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
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In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
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I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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