Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
