I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
