ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
