babies were throwing up all over the place
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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