we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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