OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
