All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
