I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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