I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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