I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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