4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
