But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
