your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
