She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
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We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
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What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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