a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
