I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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