I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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