Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
