she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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