did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
