You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
