I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Randomize
