Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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