Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
