if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
