WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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