I cannot find my penis.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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