I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
