And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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