shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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