My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
