***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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