well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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