just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
