Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize