I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
