Porn is love you can see.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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