i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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