and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize