god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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